I have gotten a lot questions over the past couple days about why I dabbled into anabolics in the first place? If I was already jacked and decently strong, then what it is the point?
Aren't anabolics for hard gainers and ectomorphs anyway?
Sure. They might be.
But my decision to delve into anabolics actually goes way deeper than just wanting to make gains.
it has a lot to do the aimlessness of life back in 2014 and my own personal mindset. Both of those I will get into in this post.
Rewind To 2014
Back in March of 2014, I was 22 years old and just a 10 months out of college. I was still considered a free spirit and live bird by the older people I knew.
At the time, I was working my day job as a data analyst (which I just got laid off from 3 weeks ago) and dealing with the shitty realities of the corporate world.
Nonetheless, it was nice to be getting paid. I could actually afford to do cool things with my personal time if I wanted (but never did).
I felt like the all the effort I had put into school work, on semester and summer internships, networking, and on campus jobs was finally paying off with an above average paying job out of school.
But I did not necessarily enjoy my day job. I never woke ecstatic to go to work. There were a couple reasons why.
To give you an idea of what my day looked like, it would consisted of dealing with demanding boss (who is actually a sweet lady outside work), working with demanding clients (who all have unrealistic expectations for the services they signed on for), and staring at numbers and code all day in excel and sequel server (not so bad).
I had started using nootropics (noopept and kratom) 6 months earlier, so I was a production machine at work. Everyone was impressed with the way I was able to take on new tasks and excel at them quickly.
Even though I did not necessarily "love" my job, I wanted to excel at it and I wanted everyone to know I was excelling. Especially, since I had a rocky start over the first 60 days of the job.
By March 2014, I had started to arrive in that space and people noticed.
It made me happy...For about two minutes.
I could not believe what had become of my life. I worked 10-12 hours/day. Wasting away my twenties. But I thought there was nothing I could about it at the time.
So I began to look for a sweet escape.
Thoughts On My Life And Being Average
What helps get me out of my day to day mantra is focusing on a goal outside of work. Bull dosing through new milestones and goals makes feel as if I am alive.
Working every day toward a specific goal that sends me in an even more above average space among my peers, not only allows me to feel invigorated on a daily basis but also have a positive outlet for my radical emotions and stress.
Like many of you, I have always been a goal oriented person. I have always had high aspirations for myself in the areas of my life that I deem important.
The thought of being average or living an average life scares the hell out of me. It keeps me up at night. It creates a lot of anxiety for me.
Everyday, at my job, I thought I was getting a step closer to average. Even though I began to excel at my job. Even though I was making more money than most people my age. I still felt like I had not arrived. I will let you infer how that made me feel.
I do not know why I am this way or why I always strive more. Maybe it was my parents brought me up or being aware of the world at a very young age.
Maybe it is knowing that having an a slightly above average work ethic will take you very far in life.
I honestly do not know. But I am not okay with wanting and working for than just being fucking average. I know it will get me further in life.
I do not think that is a bad thing. I do not think you do either, or else you probably would be reading this article right now on this website.
Transitioning To Bodybuilding
Alright. Now we are 750 words into this article. For those of you still reading (Thanks!), you are probably sitting there and saying this......
Reader: "Okay. Ray. I understand. I feel you. You wanted to concentrate more of your efforts toward your own personal goals and feel inspired to live life again."
Reader: "So what though? You are not special dude. A ton guys feel this way about the corporate world. What does that have to do with bodybuilding?"
Both are valid statements but you need to understand where my mind was at put my decision about anabolics into better context.
I had a passion for lifting weights. I loved the intensity and how it made me feel the in the moment. I loved the burn, sweat, and hustle to push out extra reps on every set. There are very few natural exercises like will give you that type of high.
I loved being in the gym and I felt like my job was taking that aspect of my life away. So I envied those who the all the time in the world to lift and despised those who I thought did not want to put in the work to make their gains.
Before 2014, I was deadset against any performance enhancing compounds. I did not believe all the stereotypes and myths. But I just thought they were people who did not want to work hard in the gym.
I had been weightlifting for 9 years at that point and made great gains. Probably also tapped out my natural genetic potential.
Anyway, I was only going to gym 2 or 3 times a week because how demanding my job was. In reality, I more made excuses not to go on days in which I worked long hours. Which was a lot.
But things were slowing down a bit and I knew I would have more time on my hands soon.
With this extra time, I knew I wanted to get serious about the gym again. The gym always been the essence of my emotional escape from things. I allowed to me to work hard a personal goal everyday in high school and college.
The gym was truly the first thing that allowed me to escape the "average" mold and work very hard toward something.
Hence why I think all guys should weight lift. But that is beside the point.
I wanted to continue that now that I would be having more times on my hands. I had strength goals that I still had not reached and I wanted to to go hard.
I was was still pretty lean (around 10-11% body fat) and strong at time. But I wanted more.
I knew I had maxed out my genetic ceiling or close to it. But I did not care. I wanted to make gains. I needed to see gains in order to justify the time I was about to put into this goal.
Otherwise, what was the point?
The Turning Point
This is when I first started to seriously consider anabolics to help me reach my goals.
My thought process was "If anabolics can do this for lazy lifters. Imagine what it could for me. I want to make gains again. I need to make gains."
From there, asked my friends for advice and did the research. The more research I did, the more I felt like this would be a good decision.
The more I felt like I was taking the power back in my life. Like what I had to do to make my life more than about work. To make life more about what I wanted. Not what my boss wanted.
This was my thought process...
"This is what I need to do get where I want with my fitness goals. As long as I use Epiandrosterone responsibly, then there are little health risks."
Then I was just like....Fuck it, I am giving it a try. Let's see what happens.
My experience was amazing. My cycle was damn near flawless and I accomplished all my goals within it.
Throughout the weeks, I was excited to come home and hit the gym. I did not mind waking up at 5:30 am to do cardio every weekday morning either.
My workouts were supercharged and I had a little of energy to do more in the gym. Myself and other people began to notice the differences in my body.
The experience really opened my eyes to the world of anabolics and how effective they can really be toward accomplishing your athletic goals.
I felt invigorated again. I was working toward what I wanted and it felt great to do so again.
Ultimately, this period of life began what started as my "take my life back" phase. Or maybe it started with my use of noopept and kratom back in the fall of 2013. But that was to excel at work. Not for myself. Anyway, I digress.
I am still in the midst of right now and will be for quite awhile.
That is what this first anabolic cycle meant to me at the time. I was going to take action and do something for me.
Even though it did not solve my problem which is my job, it allowed me to be focused on a personal goal and clear my mind. The noopept and kratom did a good job of that too. But I had to make the mental shift.
It allowed me to put my life into perspective and remind myself that the tools are out there to get whatever I want and no one will do it for me.
So I can choose to hate (like I did on anabolic user prior to Spring 2014) or I can learn and take action toward the things I actually want.
It all started to make sense.
Although I got a little lost, I found my way. I just needed a little reminder and kick in he ass.
A Little Take On My Day Job
I know what you are thinking to yourself.
"Dude. Just quit your job."
Not that simple.
I needed the money at the time to build up my savings and investment portfolio. My job was my main method of wealth accumulation and that mattered to me at the time. It still matters to me now.
I needed to begin to put money so when I figured out what I really wanted to do, I would have the money to do it or be close to getting there.
I know working a job is chastised in the manosphere/red pill community but the vast majority of you guys will have to at some point in your lives.
Jobs suck. Do not get that twisted. It is not fun having a boss or someone telling you what to do. It is not fun making someone else rich. It is not fun working on tasks you do not give two fucks about.
But....they pay you. They allow you bring money in and use it you wish.
If you were not born into wealth or have a business going, then getting paid is a pretty big deal. I would much rather work a desk job then be broke and directionless.
Nobody is above working a 9-5 job if they are broke, need the money, and no one can afford to take care of them.
Do not get me wrong though. You should want and aspire for more in your life.
I encourage it. I do. I know I will be rich one day. I know I will have a harem of girls to fuck at a moment's notice one day. I know what I want.
But in the meantime, I am going to use the corporate world to help me achieve my personal goals. That right now, is building my savings account.
If you cannot beat the system right now, think of a way use it to help you get to where you want to be in your life. Then when you are able, kiss it goodbye forever.
That is my plan. I believe it will succeed with consist and daily effort and work.
I just got laid off from my job. Although I could afford to go months without working, I do not want to. I have not accomplished my savings goal yet. I want to be in the green. Not the red.
So I found another job. I am going to milk the system for what I can get out of it. Then hold up my deuces when the time is right. It will work and I will let you know when it does.
There is a lot to take away from this post and my experience if you read and think closely into it.
But if the routine of life begins to bog you down, focus on a goal that you really want to achieve.
Whether it is make money, start a business, beat approach anxiety, fuck # girls, improve your style, lose # in fat, gain # in lean muscle, learn a new language....whatever the fuck it is.
Just work toward it everyday and use it as your emotional outlet. You will be surprised how much energy you can muster up when you do.
Also be open to using unconventional methods to achieve your goals. Nootropics have help me crush my productivity goals at work. Anabolics have helped me crush my fitness goals.
Think about it. Give it try and I hope you took something away from my experience.
Thanks Guys. Until next time.
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