What's up Rebels?
First of all....Happy Holidays!
I hope you all are enjoying the holidays with your family and/or friends.
I know I am. This is one of my favorite times of the year. I get to reflect on another good year and what's ahead.
But I know for a lot of people, this can be the worst time of the year because they have had a terrible year or have nowhere to go.
I get it. There is a path forward though. We just have to commit to making 2018 a great year.
Dedicate 2018 to our own self improvement. That is how we win.
Pick 1 or 2 things and dedicate next year to them solely. 80% of your free time should go toward your personal goals.
My goals are fitness and business. What are your's?
Take some time over the holidays to figure that out.
In the meantime, I wanted to talk about romantic relationships.
I briefly discuss this in my Ways To Avoid The Blue Pill Lifestyle Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.
Before I go any further, I want to say that I love women and enjoy their presence greatly.
They are beautiful creatures and the right ones have a lot to offer a good man like yourself.
With that said, being in a serious relationship can come at a huge price for many guys even if they find the right girl.
What do I mean?
Let's go a little further into it. I see too many guys making the mistake of being too invested in a romantic relationship in their 20s.
It becomes a huge distraction and leads them away from improving themselves.
They get caught up in trying to take care of someone else before having their own shit together.
Let's get one thing straight guys.
It is our obligation as men to be financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically able to take of ourselves before we even consider trying to take care of someone else.
That is our responsibility. You need to max yourself before considering being in a relationship.
Or else you might compensate for the things you lack by confiding in someone else (usually your significant other).
Many of you may not understand what I mean completely. But we have all seen this to varying degrees with males that we know.
I will explain further below. Stay with me.
No serious relationships in your 20s.
Not until you have made to a point in your life where have achieved your revenue streams (business), had your fun with multiple women, you are mentally and emotionally sound, and gotten in great shape.
Once again, that is what we owe to ourselves and whoever we choose to invest our time, money, and energy into.
For many of us, this self improvement path is going to take years. That is okay because this is pivotal for guys trying improve their lives.
The #1 thing I see that screws disciplined and hard working guys out of their goals is too much focus on their "serious" relationship.
They make too many decisions that concern somebody else.
In your 20s and 30s, most of the decisions you make should only be concerning you. Nobody else.
This is just the way it is has to be. You cannot consider anyone else when making decisions about your present or future.
I do not know anyone (who is very successful in multiple areas of their lives) that did it another way.
Imagine you live in Boston and you are building an online business while working a full time job.
You finally get your business to the point where you are making 1k-1.5k/month in profit.
It is great side income but not enough to quit your full time job and live comfortably in Boston.
However, you realize that you can live comfortably in Thailand with that money.
You could work on your business full time, blow your income up faster, save more money, and reinvest more back into your business.
Plus travel through Asia in the process. Sounds like a great idea.
So you decide moving to Chiang Mai or Bangkok, Thailand is the move to make.
However, your girlfriend (who is in graduate school or working a full time job) is not onboard with that idea.
She wants you to stay in close proximity to her. Or very best case scenario, move there temporarily and comeback or wait until you are making enough to take care of both of you in Thailand (2.5k-3k/month).
That throws a big wrench in your plans. You do not want to upset your girlfriend because you are more emotionally invested in her then your business.
This is where things get fucked up.
Men who are trying to make it in this world cannot be emotionally caught up in someone else.
That is prime distraction away from achieving your personal goals and elevating you to a higher status.
Not to mention the time commitment a serious relationship requires.
Most women need some sort of consistent display affection from their significant others.
All of this will eventually create problems in your relationship as you get older and more unhappy with your lack of personal progress toward your goals.
You will begin to resent and blame your girlfriend for not being further along on your personal development journey.
That is a bad spot to be in guys and can easily be avoided.
The key is just avoiding romantic relationships until you are absolutely ready for the responsibility.
When To Get In A Relationship
My suggestion is to wait to a point in your life where are physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially secure before considering getting in a serious relationship.
Otherwise, it will just fuck you up long term and hinder your own progress with your personal goals.
There are two only exceptions here. The first are the type of girls who are more traditional, submissive, and not too needy.
The ones who are okay with only seeing you twice a week or only talking to you 20-30 minutes over a night. They are low maintenance.
They just take and accept your lead. They go in the direction you tell them.
Usually, the trade off is when you are in a position to take care of them you will give them the lives they desire.
Which is most likely a comfortable living situation, consistent displays of affection from you, a family and for you to provide for them.
But this could be a good set up for some guys who do not want to be distracted with chasing pussy.
The second are girls are also goal oriented and what they want out of life aligns with what you want.
This could be your partner in crime when it comes to business and fitness.
When both your internet businesses take off, you can both say goodbye to corporate world together.
You guys can hit the gym together as well or work on business ideas together.
I think the latter type of girl is more ideal. But these goal oriented tend to be head strong and combative at times.
Hence, why the usually date guys who a little more beta. Because they need a supportive but submissive and non needy guy to support their mission.
What you want depends on you.
But these types of girls are in the sub 1%. They are tough to find. Just the men we want to become are in the sub 1%.
This is another reason to put relationships on the back burner until can afford time to look one.
Otherwise, most women will waste your time and money.
Spend your time maxing yourself out. Looks, fashion, health, money, mind, etc.
Work on yourself first. Once you have that figured out, then you can get into taking care of other people.
Guys need to stick to having just 1-2 low maintenance and cool fuck buddies at a time.
The goal here is just to have consistent sex and an active social life.
You should have no strong emotional attachments to these women.
Experienced guys can use cold approach and online dating to find these girls.
I think it's okay to dedicate 1 night a week to a fuck buddy. I would do this on a Saturday so you can work all throughout the day. Then have your night free.
As opposed to doing through the week because most of you will be working a job.
You guys need to those weeknights to hit the gym and work on that business.
Unexperienced guys should stick online. You can literally spend just a 1-2 hours per week messaging girls and lining up 1 date a week.
This is a pretty simple formula to making sure you get laid every few weeks and keeping women in your life.
I stay single mainly for reasons I mentioned above. But let elaborate more on the relationship trap many guys fall into in their twenties.
Today I am 26 years old. I will be 27 years in a few months.
Up until this point in my life, every decision I have made has solely been for me and not to appease anyone else.
I never did something because "this is what people my age do". That makes no sense to me.
I cannot say the same for others my age in serious relationships.
Many guys and girls my age are getting married or recently engaged.
They will be participating in marriages they will likely go into debt to pay for.
Sign a binding contract with the government that dedicates how you assets are allocated.
And it sets up the stage to take out more debt to buy a house and fund a lifestyle you cannot afford.
They keep it going. They have kids too early. Before they making enough to live comfortably.
Then they put a mortgage down on a house and now your really fucked. Tying up hundreds of thousands of dollars into one asset. Not smart.
I see guys move across to the country to cities where they do not know anyone and with no means of income. Leave behind their friends, family, and job to be with their "serious" girlfriends.
Only to break up with them 1-2 years later. This happens guys. I did not make this story up.
I have seen guys spend all their disposable income taking care of and pampering their girlfriends.
I have also seen guys being talked out of starting a business by thier girlfriends because they think working a job is "safer".
I see a lot of people I know heading down the path of a diminished quality of life.
This does not all stem from the pressure of being in a serious relationship as much as it is following society's script for your life and making bad life decisions.
But the best way to protect yourself from this is to stay disclipined and out of a relationship.
That is what I do. I know I am disclipined and would not fall into these traps in the first place.
However, I decided that I need no distracted while on my road to self-improvement and to a better life. So removed serious romantic relationships from the equation.
It is just one of the many sacrifices I have made while investing in my own success, self improvement, and becoming the man I want to be.
It has greatly benefited my life thus far now. I think it can benefit your's.
I know it can seem counter intuitive. A lot of guys think behind a great man is a great woman who is there along the way to fight the battle with him.
This idea was created by old Hollywood movies to sell on that bullshit romance.
Then later amplified by the media as a means to keep men grounded. That's the truth.
Listen to me right now. No one can fight those internal and external battles but you.
No female will save you when the world beats you down. It is up to you to keep moving. No one else.
So get the idea out of your head that you need a campanioin to be successful.
They are luxuries, not necessities. You only get luxuries when you can afford them. Women are no different.
I am not saying women are objects. However, as I explained earlier, everything comes with a cost.
Serious relationships come at a steep price in your twenties. Time, money, and energy that you could have dedicated to business, financial freedom, fitness, health, getting better with women, etc.
Do not make the mistake of thinking you need to be in a relationship in your 20s.
You do not.
What you need is to put yourself in a position where you have your shit together.
Where you have maxed yourself. Especially, financially. You will need more money to take care of a woman and later kids.
This is my two cents on serious relationships. I am not saying they are all bad but you have treat relationships like an investment.
What are you getting out of it? Are you in a position to put what you need into for it work? Be honest with yourself.
This is really aimed at guys who are single. But guys who are in a relationship, ask yourself if that relationship is conducive to your personal goals.
If not, you have some hard decisions if you are serious about being a top 1% male.
That's all for now guys. For more tips on avoiding The Blue Pill Lifestyle. Check out Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 of my series on that.
Enjoy the holidays and keep the hustle alive.
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